I was raised by my grandparents. They were married for a long time. I paid close attention because I knew I was getting some wisdom. Here are a few things I learned from those two love birds.
Please note, these tips are not just for married people. Marriage is not some magical potion that fixes problems. Your attitude before marriage will be the one you have after the ceremony. Get it right now and enjoy being tougher.
1. I’m starting off with the big one. Never put your spouse down in public. I never ever ever heard them say mean things to each other. He didn’t make her cry. They enjoyed each company. My grandmother bragged on my grandfather.
I see women call their men stupid in front of others. Boyfriends call their women all kind of obscenities. The look of embarrassment creeps across their faces. It hurts me to see this. The person you picked as your partner in crime should receive high praise. This does not mean lie or fail to acknowledge shortcomings. But if you make your partner look bad you look bad.
2. They spent time together with us and without us. My grandparents would go visit friends, preach, scale fish, and of course, watch CNN. They each had their own chair.
3. They laughed at things together. I didn’t know what they were talking about, but they communicated. The laughter was loud. Find someone you can be silly with.
4. They studied The Bible together. If you and yours do not believe in God study something together. The two of them decided to learn sign language.
5. They disagreed. It is okay to have a difference of opinion. If it isn’t you are with the wrong person. If you agree on everything you don’t challenge each other and that is also a bad deal.
6. They had other friends. Get you some other homies. Do stuff with your spouse and without.
7. They appreciated each other. At nightfall they had each other. That meant having someone to love you for you, flaws and all. That is what is all about.
I am sure they irritated each other. But they loved each other and it was obvious to everyone.
Isn’t that the point?
You may find you need to apply some of these tips to your relationship. I have to look in the mirror too. I think I’m doing well, but I can always improve.
Do you know a couple that have been together a long time? What do notice about them?